Oral Arguments

Welcome to the first episode of Oral Arguments! In the intro, meet your host, Norma Buster, a sex-positive victims rights advocate and survivor and learn why she started this pod. Then, get into Norma’s interview with SX Noir. They reflect on SX Noir’s career – from challenging Ashley Judd for her harmful comments on sex work, to organizing the largest sex work march in HISTORY, to becoming the Thot Leader in sex, culture, and tech. Norma and SX Noir talk call-in vs call-out culture, the vulnerabilities of being a public activist (particularly in the sex world), cultivating safER spaces, and the future of sex, tech, and crypto.

It’s Thanksgiving! A huge THANK YOU to everyone who listened and shared the first episode of Oral Arguments. In the intro of Episode 2, Norma talks about the possible end of Twitter and reflects on some of the effects of unregulated social media giants–including OnlyFans, which may have bribed Meta to put competitors on a terrorism watchlist?! Then, meet this week’s guests, Chrissy Chambers and Megan Sims, who Norma recorded this interview with at the first-ever global summit for survivors of image-based sexual abuse (IBSA) – formerly known as “revenge porn” (and they get into why that term is outdated). Chrissy won the first civil lawsuit for IBSA in the UK, and Megan helped bring a law criminalizing IBSA to Ireland. Both are survivors, activists, and sex workers on OnlyFans. Norma, Chrissy, and Megan discuss being public survivors and advocates, healing & empowerment through sex-positivity and sex work, internalized shame, how they've learned to do activism sustainably to avoid burnout & more.

Episode three! Before her conversation with the brilliant Leah Juliett, Norma reflects on the recent shooting at a gay club in Colorado Springs and the ways that LGBTQ+ people are at increased risk of violence — a fact that’s discussed throughout the episode. Then, meet Leah Juliett: queer, nonbinary political activist, founder of March Against Revenge Porn and Survivor Social Media LLC, and author of Naked in Public. Norma and Leah get into how Leah started their nonprofit at 19 years old, "trauma porn" and tips for survivors sharing their stories for the first time, Leah graciously defines some key terms and the difference between gender and sexuality (+ what does nonbinary mean?!), how we can be more inclusive, tattoos as a form of reclamation, and they get into some of the poems from their book – from surviving from sexual trauma, to sex on antidepressants, to healing through queer love.

This episode features sexperts and sex/dating coaches, Natasha Gross and Jeremy Hawn – known as All The Feels. Before the interview, Norma talks about statute of limitations on sexual assault civil claims, and the NY Adult Survivors Act (along with CA) which passed this year. Then, Norma discusses with Natasha and Jeremy their journey going from romantic to business partners and navigating nonmonogamy. They get into healing from sexual trauma by prioritizing pleasure, Roe v. Wade and the attack on our bodies, pick-up artistry and dating for men, OnlyFans and educational porn, and more.

Okay, this episode is one that Norma couldn’t wait for you to hear. She sits down with repeat guest SX Noir (who has a background in sex work decriminalization activism – listen to episode 1 for more) and Andrea Powell, founder and executive director of Karana Rising, which supports survivors of sex trafficking. This is a special conversation because it can be rare to get an anti-trafficking advocate and sex work activist in the same room, let alone find common ground as they do in this episode! Norma, Andrea, and SX Noir cover why this conversation is so divided, why movements must be survivor-led and -informed, exploitation of survivors, the circumstances for getting into the spectrum of the sex trade, the conflation of sex trafficking and sex work (and the harms of it), decriminalization (vs legalization) of sex work and the effects on trafficking survivors, and how we can build bridges to get back to why the hell we’re all doing this work.

This week’s guest has many titles: Nicoletta Heidegger is a licensed marriage and family therapist, sexologist, educator, retreat leader, podcaster (go check out her podcast Sluts & Scholars) and more. First, in the intro, Norma provides an update on the SHIELD Act, which would federally criminalize image-based sexual abuse (IBSA, formerly known as “revenge porn”) but unfortunately has been killed (for now) by Mitch McConnell. Norma discusses the years-long fight to get laws passed in the US for IBSA, as well as how we can start to understand and decide which legislation to support in general as voters. Then, in the interview, Norma and Nicoletta get into Nicoletta’s background with training in trauma & human sexuality – and why Nicoletta felt it was important to educate herself in these areas in particular as a therapist. They get into what it’s like to be a public figure while seeing clients, the vulnerability involved in seeing a therapist, equine-assisted therapy, the debate of sex addiction and whether or not it’s real (spoiler alert: looks like NO), and some first steps a trauma survivor can take towards healing.

It’s the last episode of 2022! In the intro, Norma reflects on personal highs and lows from the year, the recent Lensa craze/controversy, and the idea of holding an aspirin between your knees (aguanta la aspirina = “keep your legs closed”). Then, Norma talks with Ismelka Gomez, host of El Patio Podcast, who has a background in cultural anthropology, arts, and fashion. Ismelka shares her experience immigrating to the US from the Dominican Republic in high school, and the new identities now attached to her. Norma and Ismelka discuss the some of the complexities of Latino identities, purity + machismo culture within the Latino community and the personal and far-reaching effects, the impact of immigration status on domestic violence, and dating as Latinas. They get into activism in Latin America (and how fashion is used in protests), including within their own home countries – Ismelka explains the recent protests in DR, and Norma gets into Cuba’s recent protests, and they both share their families’ stories facing persecution in their fight for a better future.

Happy 2023! If you’re in NYC on Jan 10, come to past guest SX Noir event “Ye’s War on Culture, Twitter, and Porn” – Norma is going to be a panelist with Joanna Angel! Ticket link below. This episode features two global survivor-activists: Inȇs Marinho from Portugal, and Noelle Martin from Australia. They are the face of the movement against image-based sexual abuse (IBSA; formerly known as revenge porn) in their countries. Inȇs and Noelle tell Norma about the challenges they face in their activism and the current state of laws on IBSA in their countries, the need for cultural shift on top of legislative change, “deepfakes” + “cheapfakes” (what they are and why those are problematic terms). They get real about the impact their trauma had on their lives, their relationship with their bodies and sexuality, dating as a public survivor, and more.

The president of the United States just called for Democrats and Republicans to unite against Big Tech abuses - Norma gets into it in the intro (link below). Then, this week’s guest is Gabrielle Alexa Noel, AKA Gab Alexa, and she’s an author, software developer, and bisexual, polyamorous influencer. Norma and Gabby discuss purity culture (and how Gabby went from purity pact to polyamory – this episode is full of personal stories from both of them), Gabby’s book How to Live with the Internet and Not Let It Run Your Life, and Gabby’s work in sextech. Gabby is Lead Portal Developer for the dating app #open, and she gets into background checks and other forms of content moderation and how she and her team approach user safety, as well as the challenges sextech companies face (give them money and let them advertise!), and more.

It’s the last episode of the season! And it’s National Stalking Awareness Month. In the intro, Norma shares some personal reflections on being a survivor of stalking, as well as some stats on how pervasive this issue is. Then, Norma interviews Matthew Herrick – the man who sued the dating app Grindr. Herrick v. Grindr was a case that sparked a nationwide conversation about the unlimited power tech companies hold and their lack of accountability. In a rare interview, Matthew shares his story of how his ex weaponized Grindr to impersonate Matthew and lure around 1400 men to Matthew’s home and workplace. Matthew hired C.A. Goldberg, PLLC, the firm Norma works for and was a client of as well, and they sued Grindr, and then lost – all because of this one law from ‘96 called Section 230 of the CDA. Norma and Matthew get into big tech accountability, the ways dating apps can do better, dating after being stalked, Matthew’s work with the White House, Matthew’s venture into OnlyFans, and more.

THANK YOU to everyone who’s been listening and sharing Oral Arguments. I’ll be back in spring 2023 with season 2!